We’ve passed the hardest part: People catching feels. 

Your guest list determines everything. From the energy of your wedding, to the most important part: The cost. Once you’ve figured out your budget, stick to it as best you can. Varick and I opted to do a destination wedding mainly because we both wanted a small, intimate wedding with only our closest friends and family. Including everyone who is important without having to contradict the budget we both plan to work with was the challenge. Most destination weddings only hold small groups of people. This is very common and it comes with the territory — so when you decide to go for this type of wedding, make sure you’re well aware that you may have 250 people in mind you’d like to invite, while the venue may only hold 100 guests.



  1. If neither you nor your spouse has ever spoken to, met or heard a person’s name before, don’t invite them.

  2. Leave out anyone neither of you has spoken to in three or more years (or is related to). That means old high school or college friends you’re pretty sure you’ll never see again, or second and third cousins whose names you can barely remember.

  3. Third, the guilt invites definitely don’t have a place on your list as well.

  4. Be firm about plus ones. Make exceptions for those who are obviously married, engaged or have been in relationships for more than two years. Otherwise, guests who are casually dating, single friends, or coworkers shouldn’t be allowed plus ones. Varick and I only have about two guests who are not married or engaged that were allowed +1 (You know who you are, consider yourselves lucky). 

  5. Your parents will have their own list of people whom they’d like for you to invite. Be sure to sit down with them and go over that list together. Keep in mind all the rules up top as you do this. There’s always a happy medium, otherwise if your parents are helping you out pay for the wedding, then that is a completely different story!

Feels will be caught and some will take it more seriously than others. I’d like to think that weeding out your guest list is almost like weeding out the rest of your life. Creating our guest list not only helped us meet our goal budget, but it really showed a lot of true colors that weren’t expected. My one advice (especially if you’re opting for a destination wedding as well) is, to stand your ground and know that this is your one special day. You can be selfless every single day of your life, just not on this day. This day is yours and you should be as selfish as you please.

For all wedding updates, check out our hashtag #greygetsagroom as well!