#GREYGETSAGROOM Q+ A ON DESTINATION WEDDINGS

Weddings are sentimental, magical and trying all at the same time. I for one can’t even begin to fathom how other people do this more than once. Heck once, is quite a trip already! I gathered most of your questions from Instagram and answered them as honest and best I could for you in hopes to ease some minds out there.

For those of you who are thinking of planning a wedding away, read up on some of my top advices for you. For those who have concerns about weddings in general and the feared guest list creation, I hope I ease your pains.

  • @shenanniegansss: What was two of the most difficult tasks in planning your destination wedding?

It would definitely have to be planning the transportation for our guests and selecting the guest-list.

  • @msebonym: Did you guys feel pressure to document as much as you could due to huge social media audience?

To a certain degree, yes because it comes so natural as it’s something I do on the daily. However I personally did not do any documentation that entire day. I appointed someone from the team to handle all of that so I can be in the moment and live within the memories.

  • @she.eatpraylovestyle: Were you the type of girl who dreamed about her wedding? Was your vision when you were little change when you finally knew you were getting married? Love you jeanne!

Believe it or not, even as a huge feminist, I am a hopeless romantic and dreamt about my wedding since I was 8. My vision was always a beach wedding, no shoes, minimal setting and just the elements of nature surrounding us. It changed slightly when I was planning my wedding when it came to details. However, the entire idea of it was still very much the same as my 8 year old vision.

  • @ellna_a: What moment do you wish you can relive on your wedding day 

I really loved my father-daughter dance. I’m a huge daddy’s girl!

  • @stephaniehlam: Did you use a wedding planner!? Was it hard to get all of your family there? Like grandparents who cant travel that far?

Yes we needed a wedding coordinator for sure. With the wedding being halfway across the world, it was just so much easier having someone become the bridge to the language barrier, time difference and distance to it all. I was very surprised to see about 99% of my family members come through. My 90+ year old grandma even showed up! It was definitely special!

  • @igsuxpao:How did you arrange the preparations and oversee that you got exactly what you wanted from being on the other side of the world?

I created a mood board with all my visions in it. I then handed that over to my wedding planner who stitched together all the vendors and brought my ideas to life from halfway across the world.

  • @taryn_robinson_: Was it super expensive having a destination wedding

Destination weddings are a lot cheaper than local, regular weddings from a bride and groom’s standpoint ranging less than half of what the average cost of weddings typically are. According to a research by The Knot, “total spend is greater for domestic weddings at an average of $50,000, but international weddings cost more per guest.” So to answer your question, no it isn’t. It’s a lot cheaper!

  • @jennhanft: Did you marry on paper in the U.S. first/after the actual ceremony? How many times did you have to visit Bali beforehand to make preparations?

Yes! We married in the U.S. before our actual wedding in Bali. We visited Bali about 3 times before our wedding there but only used one of those three visits for wedding planning.

  • @uhhsandy: How should someone budget their wedding? Like a pie chart of expenses like cater, venue, attire, photographer, etc?

We came up with a number we were prepared to pay for as a couple. then we created a spreadsheet to help us visualize where each amount would go towards (cake, band, alcohol etc). Step one is always creating that number you are comfortable with. The rest follows.

  • @nchhim: this is beautiful!  i have 2 questions: 1) would you need to have your marriage license as documented proof from home prior to going away for the actual destination wedding celebrations? 2) does the resort have their own team of vendors to make it all happen or can you pick/choose your own vendors?

1.) Yes. You would need to get your marriage license from your city, then get married within 30 days of you receiving that license depending on where you’re location and the laws of your jurisdiction.

2.) When doing a destination wedding, your venue should have their own vendors however, you can always ask if they allow outside vendors, which they usually do at a fee. We picked out our own vendors for our wedding and used the venue’s at a minimal rate.

  • @traceysomething: Who makes the guest list!? I know you talked about it on your blog before. How did you break it to them?

You both have to sit down and make the guest list together. This is one of the three pillars of your wedding. You don’t owe the ones you’re not inviting an explanation. You simply leave that be and move on with the ones you invited. This doesn’t make the ones you didn’t invite less important. It just makes things less awkward.

  • @sophocation: Could you sleep the night before or were you too excited? 

I actually slept very well. I had a low sodium meal with lots of fluids and tea before bedtime.

  • @rynia_may_jaranilla: Why destination wedding versus local venues?

For me, destination weddings are more intimate, quiet and memorable. You get to pick the closest to your heart, share another part of the world together while celebrating love! What’s better than that? Though local weddings are also wonderful, we personally chose to have a destination wedding instead!

  • @idapieceofpizza: Did you have to pay for your entourage’s tickets?

No, they are solely responsible for that.

  • @nataliesparrow: Did you have to change your guest list based on who could actually travel to the destination? How many days before the wedding did the guests arrive?

We picked our most closest friends and family members to be on our guest list and stuck to it. 98% of our guests from our guest list came and flew all the way to Bali to be at our wedding! They all started arriving at their own will however, we made it mandatory that they should arrive no later than two days before the wedding to get past jet lag.

  • @florde.laluz: Was airfare expensive? Do the bride and groom cover airfares for the bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Airfare was expensive considering that Bali is halfway around the world. No, during destination weddings, the bride and groom do not cover airfares from bridesmaids and groomsmen. All our guests paid for their own way to Bali.

  • @apeshong: What made you choose Bali? 

We chose Bali because of so many beautiful reasons. Read my blogpost about it here.

  • @forkandfrill: What did you do for people who wanted to experience the day with you but couldn’t travel there? I want a destination wedding, but I know not everyone I love will be able to make it!

We had a wedding shower a week before flying out to Bali and the ones who unfortunately couldn’t celebrate with us, spent time with us during the shower. Remember that your wedding is for you and your groom, not for everyone else. Therefore you should decide on it with yourself in mind. You can always celebrate in a smaller way at home with the ones who can’t make it out.

  • @cinday.n: Would you consider your wedding to be traditional or non-traditional ?

Our wedding was definitely non-traditional.

  • @goober187: Hey, been a long time fan of urs. Hehe how do you narrow down your decisions? From ur destination to the theme and to your dress etc. Too many things on pinterest/insta that i feel it tends to cloud my judgement. Im engaged myself and its just so damn hard lol

I’ve had majority of my decisions since I was 8, knowing what type of wedding I wanted, what theme. The only thing I took some time to hunt down was my dress. I had to find her. The first step is to know if you want a local wedding or a destination one. Then select what theme you want.  There will always be tons of options. You just have to choose about 3 and keep narrowing it down. It also helped that I had my husband be a huge part of the selecting process!

  • @a_life_in_squares: What was your favorite part of that day? Is there any one thing that stood out for you?

My favorite part of the day was the nap my husband and I had in between the ceremony and the dinner. We relaxed and took some time to unwind. This made the day go by slower than what brides and grooms would say otherwise. It also gave us the energy to really feel each moment throughout the rest of the day.

  • @kiwipenny: Congrats! Wondering if there’s anything you would do differently at your wedding in retrospect and why 

I would have moved the dance floor to be at a different part of the reception! But other than that, everything was absolutely perfect!!!!!

  • @2ka.mgnt: Was the cost an issue for some family members? I love the idea of destination wedding but the thought of all the $$$ is crazy 

We were really lucky to have family that didn’t express any of their emotions regarding cost of their travel. They were all so supportive. The people who are meant to be at your day will be there. They will make it happen regardless of anything!

  • @classclassified: @thegreylayers your wedding was beautiful!  I’m engaged myself but my fiancé and I are struggling a lot financially:( we have no help from family either. I wanted to know what tips you could give on budgeting for a wedding. Did you do any diy? Anywhere to save cash? Wedding cost hacks? I don’t want to settle for second rate on my special day but I’m not as lucky as you 

We chose a destination wedding because it comes out a lot cheaper and more beautiful than a regular wedding, meaning you get a bang for your buck. On top of that, we also delegated a lot to our bridesmaids and groomsmen for a lot of DIY projects. For example, one of my bridesmaids created a love letter station which she made herself with art supplies! these are fun things to add to your wedding but deduct from the cost of it!

  • @anelisraaad: Congrats on your wedding! I’m sure it was magical  I’m thinking about destination wedding to Hawaii, would you suggest inviting a small party of 30-50 or a big party of 100? Financially I’m trying to stay on a $10,000 budget (might be possible) I just want a great memories 

Destinations wedddings shouldn’t be any more than 50 people. Typical destination weddings are at 20 people the most! You should also consider the destination you are choosing. For example, the exchange rate in Asia is lower than dollar which gives you more for your money. Hawaii on the other hand is already an expensive place even just for a vacation, so weddings there would typically be no less than $50,000. If this was the case, you should perhaps consider a local wedding since it would cost you at the same price as a Hawaii wedding. Hope that helps!

  • @ameliagraj: Were you involved at all in picking out your engagement ring? Or did Varick totally surprise you?

The engagement ring was all Varick’s idea  He designed the piece himself with no help from me!

  • @afran6co: How was the outdoor reception?! Would you recommend against it? Im having a destination wedding as well, but feel as if it will be too dark in the night time and mosquitoes will be bothersome

Not at all! I am all for outdoor receptions ! There are candles that control mosquitos. Also because we had it on the beach, there was mosquito infestation at all! With regards to it being too dark, remember that when you hire your vendors, they are well equipped and have gone through a million weddings. Therefore they are experts at lighting etc! Rest assured it will turn out perfect!

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